Now that I'm home in NY I feel hollow? unsettled? discontented? definitely a little bit mixed up. I really missed being back home, but I think that I possibly created some glamorous image of what being home would be like...blah. Now that I'm here, I would much rather be back in California so I could just start missing NY again. This bothers me, because I know that I will be right back in NY once my student exchange is over in May - that means living with my parents. I hate that I cant afford my own place, I know that they will help me if I want to move out, but not being independent from them makes me feel guilty, like I owe them somthing.
..I geuss for now I should just try to look forward to getting back to school in California, I think if I organize myself I will feel much better about everything. I'll make a plan, and I need to start being healthier too.. maybe its all this holiday eating and being lazy that is bumming me out.
I want to say I feel a little better, but I'm just anxious to get back to San Jose and get started.
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